just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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