Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She needs sedatives and a leash
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize