when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
BRING THE BAGELS
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize