Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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