He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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