But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize