You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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