I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
this boner is exhausting
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize