Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
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Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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