I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize