At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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