Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
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And the cops told us we were all naked.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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