I want to stick my p in your. b.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
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you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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