I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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