You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
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Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
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I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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