Kiss
Puke
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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