I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
we're so committed to being not committed
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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