Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize