she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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