Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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