my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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