She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize