I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
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