You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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