We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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