We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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