we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just found puke in my bra..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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