Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said

  (770): View more from Georgia

  she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You KNEW her power was out...

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  (404): I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said (770): she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to (404): You KNEW her power was out... http://tfl.nu/ggzc
  Replies (39) Good night (11695) Bad night (899)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.

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  (304): I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator. http://tfl.nu/x5we
  Replies (18) Good night (2694) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.

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  (415): I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea. http://tfl.nu/t4nr
  Replies (32) Good night (884) Bad night (4015) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?

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  (225): I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room (1-225): haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom? http://tfl.nu/q6me
  Replies (55) Good night (10255) Bad night (865)
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  (845): View more from New York

  he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"

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  (845): he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail" http://tfl.nu/o5gt
  Replies (37) Good night (6328) Bad night (1256) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.

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  (651): She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can. http://tfl.nu/7y77
  Replies (9) Good night (3148) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.

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  (661): Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me. http://tfl.nu/1wv6
  Replies (17) Good night (6384) Bad night (930) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring

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  (931): Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring http://tfl.nu/mtnj
  Replies (2) Good night (1136) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.

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  (541): I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall. http://tfl.nu/64r1
  Replies (7) Good night (4137) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.

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  (267): They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment. http://tfl.nu/jokz
  Replies (3) Good night (1958) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up

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  (843): I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up http://tfl.nu/n9q8
  Replies (4) Good night (877) Bad night (406) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.

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  (516): History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad. http://tfl.nu/o7dx
  Replies (3) Good night (1441) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru

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  (520): U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru http://tfl.nu/6qqt
  Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (1076) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.

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  (315): how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested. http://tfl.nu/auq3
  Replies (2) Good night (600) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.

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  (586): He probably thinks you're playing hard to get. (248): Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone. http://tfl.nu/1zpx
  Replies (1) Good night (1139) Bad night (221)

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