I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize