I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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