sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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