Umm I'm too high to move.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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