I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
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I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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