My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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