Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Come share oat with me in your robe
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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