I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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