but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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