Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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