it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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