If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize