period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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