I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize