I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize