So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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