There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
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the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
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You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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