sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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