Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
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can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
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She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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