this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize