Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Tie

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  (201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet (908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building (201): Tie http://tfl.nu/a5wy
  Replies (97) Good night (43617) Bad night (1462)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.

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  (207): there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW. http://tfl.nu/2lyk
  Replies (11) Good night (2046) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Maybe she gives good head

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head

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  (731): Maybe she gives good head (615): A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head http://tfl.nu/5nox
  Replies (44) Good night (681) Bad night (3647)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.

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  (803): worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week. http://tfl.nu/ib48
  Replies (28) Good night (592) Bad night (3049) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.

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  (562): I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die. http://tfl.nu/mr7u
  Replies (6) Good night (2653) Bad night (1038)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.

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  (845): Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there. http://tfl.nu/s3qt
  Replies (22) Good night (3870) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.

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  (703): When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship. http://tfl.nu/12c3
  Replies (6) Good night (2862) Bad night (591) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.

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  (818): You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato. http://tfl.nu/nu5y
  Replies (4) Good night (1222) Bad night (1047) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.

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  (513): Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through. http://tfl.nu/9dxn
  Replies (3) Good night (752) Bad night (1602) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.

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  (505): When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets. http://tfl.nu/r3xp
  Replies (7) Good night (3308) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning

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  (808): I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning http://tfl.nu/745i
  Replies (8) Good night (649) Bad night (2306) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.

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  (416): Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life. http://tfl.nu/bd2a
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (356)
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  (626): View more from California

  I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.

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  (626): I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime. http://tfl.nu/zedi
  Replies (9) Good night (1854) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show

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  (719): Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show http://tfl.nu/2ff1
  Replies (4) Good night (746) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  That is a hangover

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would prefer a headache

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  (215): Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame (267): That is a hangover (215): I would prefer a headache http://tfl.nu/ewcu
  Replies (3) Good night (1088) Bad night (390)

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