come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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